The Last Date
The
Last Date
I
remember every detail of March 8, 2017, as if it were yesterday.
The dress fit exactly how you would want it to. The
jewellery was tasteful and complimented the outfit and occasion
perfectly. My hair and make-up were flawless.
It was while I was putting on my mascara like a lightning
bolt it struck me this was our last date. Finally, I
put on the shoes bought just for this occasion as I knew they would complete
the look. You always said I looked perfect no matter what I wore. No matter
what I wore you always said I made it look like that was the way it
should look or be worn. I ensured on this day I was
impeccable in every way. This was our last date and I wanted you to remember me
exactly the way you always saw me.
As the morning moved on I busied myself, I didn’t want to think
about this being our last date.
I ensured the card was perfect and the flowers must
have something blue. Blue, after all, was your favourite colour. This was not
all about me. It was about both of us and the unexpected end to our story.
It had not been an easy road but that road was all we had left
now. There was no going back. Onward was the only way to go. As 11 o’clock drew
closer my anxiety grew and the memories flooded my mind. The good and the bad.
It didn’t matter it made me feel close and cherish more what would be the last date.
I picked up the flowers and walked down the stairs. As I began
to walk to the car-park my emotions became overwhelming and I could not
move. I stood petrified for what seemed like an eternity as
thoughts swirled in my mind. I didn’t want this to be our last date, our
last meeting. As I was about to drop the flowers in sheer agony a cool, soothing but powerful breeze whipped the blue bow and card
away. No, it cannot be without the bow. It could not be without a
blue bow. There must be a blue bow. Blue was your
favourite colour and I wanted you to know I remembered. The emotions
were swept away by my determination to have a blue bow for
you. I rushed frantically to get that blue bow. You must have
a blue bow. I ran toward where the wind had taken it and
gently secured it in the safety of my hands.
Driving to our meeting place tears welled –up repeatedly. I kept
checking to ensure I looked perfect for you despite the tears. I knew you would
understand. As I drew closer I felt disconnected and like I was in
dream drowning. Deep breaths, deep breaths I kept telling myself. No one must
know this is our last date. You would want me composed.
I drove in and there were so many people there I thought to myself
would I see you? The flowers became heavy, what they symbolized could not be
real. To walk with them would make this all too real and my heart could not
deal with it. The reality I knew but to see it before my eyes I got not endure. The
flowers with the blue bow got to you I hope you know they came from me.
Absolute dread filled me
as I drew closer. I tried to laugh and smile but the pain in me was like a
brick around my heart dragging me down with its immense weight. As I drew ever
closer to you I wondered should I have come? Was this the
right thing to do? Was goodbye necessary again?
I stood and stared at where you from a distance
and finally began my journey to what would be our final
goodbye, our final date. We parted ways a long time ago but this
time it was different, it was truly final. I needed to be here, to
say goodbye to you and to what was once us.
Seeing the coffin and knowing you were lying in it numbed me but
pained be all at once. It was unbearable to know I would never hear you speak
or laugh again. I would never feel the warmth of your embrace or the security
and comfort you gave to me.
I know saying it was our last date seems to weird or morbid but
is how it felt. It was the last time I would see you and in
my heart, it was our last date. Our final goodbye.
It’s been a year and there are times when I still cannot believe
you are gone. Every time I hear This I promise You I think of you.
“I've loved you forever, In lifetimes before forever stuck in my
head.
You are my Soulmate
and
Forever Love.
I Will Love You Forever and a Day
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