Daft ..just daft

I don't think it is that the women you like do not like you. I believe that you are afraid to accept the type of women to whom you are truly attracted. By extension, you need to accept who you truly are. 

 

It may scare you because to be who you are truly meant to be would mean having to remove or leave "friends" behind.

You fear being alone so instead of embracing you as you evolve you try to hold to your "friends" by holding fast to who you thought you were and who they tell you should be and be with or would approve of. Maybe not in word but in action. Imposing what they want as what you should aspire to. 



ALL women are NORMAL in our own unique way. To say you like normal women shows confusion. You need to figure yourself out as you are evolving and then things will be clearer. I think you just reward people with a crush when they give you attention because of your insecurity (you can't believe someone is interested in you so in case it never happens again you just encourage it and that becomes what you are attracted to - it is almost like you have no standard as to what you want) and if they push enough you really "like" and give a relationship or a chance at once.  In addition, you lead people on so if someone didn't initially think of you in that way because of your actions they begin to think your actions are less than platonic from observation. Most guys are polite with women they flirt only with the ones they are into or are their type. 




Trying too hard (as I was described is dependent on the perceiver. -  Not to make it about me. But when you said I was trying too hard I was only trying to respond to the conversation we were having -  so I guess your description is of what is trying to hard would differ-) or not all depends on the person and past experiences.  I for instance stopped asking or being too involved when you told me I was trying too hard because I did not wish to appear to be forcing a situation. I was just being me. When someone is a friend when they hurt I hurt and I am there for them always. 




 If you are truly honest with yourself you will realize that there are people whom you think are your friends and they are not. They take advantage of your nature. They know you have been depressed and that your self-esteem isn't where it should. They know of your not wanting to be alone and thinking you can attain personal happiness from another. Honestly, they use it to their advantage and you cannot see it. I think they poke fun at your emotional state and you think they are joking in a friendly way but in fact, they are laughing at you in a mean way.  


Yes, you have known them longer than you have known me so for me to say the above must come across as being presumptuous. I have kept quiet for too long not wanting to upset you. I can do it no more so at the risk of you blowing me out and not being friends anymore I write this. 


I am not sure you are aware they are using you conveniently. You should take a step back and really assess the people in your life. That includes me - I am sure there are times you may have questioned if I am your friend and genuinely care. I do care or I would not be willing to risk our battered friendship.