Take Time - The quick fix in any situation Never works. Eventually all it creates are more problems. Take the time you need for you Do not allow society to dictate your pace of healing

When I decided to blog I was in an emotional hurricane. The eye of the storm has passed but, there is debris to deal with.   Debris that cannot and should not be ignored. This got me thinking and I am left to wonder have we become or are we rapidly becoming a society that recycles or reuses emotions? Transferring what and how we feel for one person to another???

I am of the belief that recycling and reusing as far as men and their emotions are concerned is one and the same. They simply take the emotions from one relationship and transfer to another allowing no time for healing or processing. I know we are engineered differently but the perpetuation of the monkey syndrome is flabbergasting.  This coupled by the media perpetually telling you that taking time to grieve, heal and getting to know yourself after a relationship is foolhardy and a waste of time.

Get back on that horse they say, there are other fish in the sea. True, you should get back on the horse but not before you are ready. What is the point of jumping back onto the saddle and taking all your emotional baggage and transferring all that negativity into this new situation? Or trying to re-create what you had with someone else with a new person? This is unfair and destructive to all parties

Like monkeys, we take emotions and go from one person to another in search of finding that perfect one, yet being attracted to the same person in a different body over and over. We sit and wonder at the end of each ill-fated liaison why we ended up with the same type of person. I have observed this syndrome for years among men and have been dumbfounded when ask repeatedly what they are doing wrong to keep attracting the same type of person over and over.  As time has passed and technology and media have affected our societies, cultures, mores and norms I have come to the realization that increasingly more and more women are adopting this attitude. It is almost as if something is inherently askew if you decide to take more than 6 weeks to 3 months to deal with your hurt.



The media keeps telling you the way to move on is to find someone else a replacement a veritable band-aide. Time (if the grieving process isn’t ignored) does heal all wounds.   You may find that an issue comes up time and again and you say to yourself I dealt with this why is it back? Truth be told anyone issue will have several emotional angles to be approached from.  It may seem like the same issue but in fact, the emotion attached to it is different therefore in essence making it a new issue. What worked before to resolve it will not work this time. The emotion is what in essence that creates the difference.



    

                 Time heals all wounds

Each time the issue comes up it will hurt less and you deal with the emotions faster. To do so requires taking the time to understand what the emotion is and what it is trying to convey to you.  Therein lies our problem. Time

.

We are constantly complaining we have no time and have become accustomed to the 'quick fix." The quick fix is no fix. It leads to problems down the road. The quick relationship fix is finding someone to transfer your emotions onto and jumping into a relationship you are not ready for but refusing to admit simply to assuage naysayers and fit in.

Quick fixes create more problems



Regardless of what is said everyone has a type and it is this type and the fact that we continue to fit a square peg into a round hole that creates problems. The relationship doesn’t work out and instead of taking time to understand what happened, we are encouraged to ignore all emotions and find the first person we can to start a new relationship. Society and the media have for the most brainwashed us into thinking if we do not have a significant other you are not desirable. As a result, we take no time to analyze the person or persons we have been involved with and jump right back into a relationship with a replacement.

Changing our type is possible but one must be willing to take the time to understand oneself in order to do so. As we soul search not only do we rediscover who we once were as we come to a realization of who we are becoming. To make this process of worth we must learn to identify our type.  With knowledge comes power.

This newfound information will enable us to recognize our old type and turn and walk away as we forge a new relationship path. It is not easy and it takes time and perseverance and fortitude. You cannot do this completely on your own. Others have seen you the mistake and they can provide you with mistake valuable and substantial info to help you on your journey. They can see what we on the inside are oblivious too. 





Change your type change your world





We ignore all advice we may get from a friend or relative. Why? We are being told to do whatever we want regardless of what anyone says or how it affects others. Your relationship is your business no one should tell you anything. It is about the parties involved and

not anyone else. We must keep in mind when

you are in a relationship you tend not to be the most impartial person. The rose-tinted glasses of love, infatuation or obsession are quite blinding.

.Listen to the advice of others they see things you cannot

 The next time you end a relationship stop and take some time to figure who you are, where you have, where you would like to go and who you would like to take on that journey with you. Do not allow the preferences of your friends to hold you back nor be afraid of being the true you. If that means you lose "friends: along the way they weren't friends to being with. Be mindful and open to listen to the opinions and advice of others as we don't always see or think clearly when we are in "love”, "like" or "crush"